Just watched it. I can't believe Euronymous died in the end! (whoops spoilers!)


Author:Troll's Hole
Date:2019-03-01 23:42:15
In Reply To:Thoughts on "Lords Of Chaos" movie? (nt) by Uziel
Views:63
Here you go: https://flixtor.to/watch/movie/23870762/lords-of-chaos

First of all, the casting of Macaulay Culkin's brother, who looks like Macaulay Culkin, was a genius move. It is impossible to see him without seeing Kevin McCallister. No matter how long you grow his hair or how much corpse paint or spikes and leather you throw on him, you always see the annoying fucking kid from Home Alone saying "YESSSSSS!!!" as he fucks up Joe Pesci. The movie tries to make Norweiner Black Metal artists look like a bunch of very unintimidating dumbass children trying to be cool, and using Kevin McCallister with corpse paint as the center of this whole thing achieves that goal perfectly. Culkin was scarier in The Good Son than he was in this movie. Hell he was scarier in Home Alone than in this. At least in Home Alone he tortured and nearly killed two burglars to death. He didn't hurt a fly in this one!

Unfortunately the genius casting is ruined by a complete lack of realism. It's like Star Wars in that it takes place in a galaxy far far away (Norway), yet everybody speaks English. Not just English, but like incredibly GOOD English. Have you heard a Norwegian speak English in real life? It's a fucking massacre every time! Their grammar is dreadful, their vocabulary is just 80% Norwegian words mixed with basic English words they've heard on TV, their accents are disgusting to listen to, and you can tell they can't spell for shit just based on how they pronounce the actual English words. I simply could not immerse myself in this fantasy world where Norwegians speak perfect English to one another.

Furthermore it depicted black metal musicians as people who get laid frequently, which is just preposterous. You can tell it was written by a black metal artist.

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