My rewrite of Guns n' Roses' "Double Talkin' Jive"


Author:T.J. Swoboda
Homepage:http://www.facebook.com/tjswoboda
Date:2017-03-10 20:35:45
Views:264
For the past twenty-five years, I've felt that this is a great song musically, but the lyrics... Jeez. I've mentioned this before, but it's like they're trying to recapture the rawness of Appetite and end up with some laughably bad faux-tough guy shit.

A few minutes ago an idea for different lyrics that somewhat-follow the same meter (maybe?) occurred to me, and I set to work in Windows Notepad. I should mention that these lyrics don't reflect any such frustrations in my work life at the moment; just seemed like a topic that fit well with the music.

***
DON'T KNOW WHY I CARE
***
I show up, give it my all, make you look ba-ad.
You're pissed off, think I should care; how do I da-are.

Don't know why I try, I'm just a normal guy
Payin' for a house and ca-ar.
Don't know why I tryyyyy...
When I just get dumped on...

New day new job, all new crap; how do I att-aaa-ack?
You pull your weight, I'll pull mine; I'll have your back.

Don't know why I try, I'm just a normal guy
Payin' for a house and ca-ar.
Don't know why I tryyyyy...
You dig? What I'm sayin'?


(right-click and view, image is much bigger)

Troll's Hole proclaimed:
Oh mighty dictator of the spider's lair
Why are the smilies appropriate?
Your horse drawn wagon is as inexpensive as a London unforunate
Who can you please when your tree house of diamonds collapses?
Its ladder being pulled away by the children who won't grow
Unleash the lizard
Squash the rebellion, for they mean to commit highway robbery
Turn their words into incomprehensible letters
Prisoners of the physical realm
Only the arms of the bear can save them now
But the ref pulls out the red card
The crab of the downward spiral eats ravioli and ejaculates corrupt Linux files
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